Let’s be honest – most people don’t enjoy receiving feedback. Many of us feel like the person in the picture when the boss asks if we’d like feedback… We know we should say yes, all while our internal alarm system is screaming at us to brace for impact. This reaction often stems from how feedback is delivered, making it feel like criticism or even a personal attack. But it doesn’t have to be this way!
This week, I received feedback from a leader about a specific behavior in a concrete situation. I immediately recognized the situation and appreciated how constructive and specific the feedback was. I can use it the next time I’m in a similar situation – and I surely will!
Out of respect for those involved, I won’t share the specific details of the situation. But “fortunately” (a little irony here), I have plenty of examples from past situations that I can share.
Years ago, during a training session with a group of international employees, a leader pointed out that I should be cautious when using irony, as some participants misinterpreted my message.
As in the recent example, the feedback addressed my behavior (using irony) in a specific situation (training an international group) with a clear effect (misunderstandings as a result). It was fair, constructive, and useful.
This leads me to the SBI model, which both leaders either consciously or unconsciously applied. It’s a simple and structured method for giving feedback that is both specific and actionable.
The SBI Model:
- Situation (S): Describe the specific situation where the behavior occurred. This helps establish a shared understanding of the context.
Example: “During yesterday’s team meeting…” - Behavior (B): Describe the observed behavior objectively and concretely, without judgment or interpretation.
Example: “…I noticed that you repeatedly interrupted while others were speaking.” - Impact (I): Explain the effect the behavior had – on you, the team, or the task. This helps convey the consequences.
Example: “…this disrupted the flow of the discussion and made it difficult for others to contribute.”
The person in the example above might have been eager and unintentionally interrupted others. This kind of behavioral feedback, especially if given shortly after the incident, has a much more constructive tone than the classic “You always interrupt!” feedback, which is often delivered out of context and with too much punch.
So, when I say I love feedback, it’s true – as long as it’s constructive. Let’s strive, like the two leaders mentioned, to improve how we give factual and constructive feedback, focusing on situational behaviors rather than personal traits. As Mario Huard commented on the original post on LinkedIn: “The goal is not to criticize but to enable continuous improvement in a kind and professional spirit!”.
In closing, a huge thank-you to the two leaders for constructively advancing my learning 🙏.
Feel free to share your feedback experiences in the comments below 👇
This post was originally posted on Linkedin in Danish – you can fint it here.
